Tossing Love into the Mix

Love in Marriage: 365 Reasons I Love My Husband

Judith Heaney
5 min readNov 23, 2021

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There is little that can ramp up my anxiety or my frustration levels like traffic, especially when I am trying to get to an appointment on time. Ever since I was young, my dad always talked about how showing up to an appointment on time demonstrates a level of respect for the person with whom you are meeting. Because of this, my dad almost always left in plenty of time to get where he needed to go, allowing for unknowns, including traffic.

This has pretty much been my way of doing life, too, until I had kids.

If you’re a parent, you know what I’m talking about here. And, if you’re not, I strongly suggest you take 20 minutes to watch this Michael McIntyre clip about being a parent (you will not regret it). His description about trying to leave the house is absolutely spot-on and every parent can see themselves in his words.

photo: shilin wang

Anyway, since having kids, my dad’s long-standing rule about getting places early or on time has become a distant memory. There are days when I celebrate sitting in the parking lot of a therapy place or the charter school my 6th grader attends by listening to one or two more favorite songs from one of their Spotify playlists. But those moments, they are few and far between these days.

Today was the kind of day that involved a race against the clock. Of course, even if I had left “with plenty of time to spare,” not even my dad’s suggested driving method could have survived the traffic backup I drove into this morning. Fortunately, with mapping and navigation apps, it’s possible to see a bit of what’s happening by way of the solid red line that stretched all the way from where I was approaching to where my girl and I needed to be.

Texting also allows me to demonstrate my respect for the person we’re going to see by letting them know we will be 10 minutes late. Even so, my anxiety does not travel well. While I managed to get us there only 5 minutes late, the next leg of my day ramped my anxiety even higher. I had to navigate our way home, drop off one girl and pick up the other and head back in the exact same direction from which I’d come — the one where the traffic was backed up even farther than it was on my first trip up the road.

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Judith Heaney