Member-only story
Every Day, Writing
Writing words evokes deep feelings: dread vs. expectation
My fingers hover over the button, and the ever-familiar sense of doubt and fear fill my mind, echoing with the beating of my heart, as I prepare to hit publish, to send my words into the world without me. I can only hope they are received the way I’ve intended because they were written and layered with hope and encouragement and promise.
Every time I send my words into the world, I experience strong feelings. Sometimes dread — what if they land in a vacuum? What if they stir trouble rather than carry curiosity and hope? What if they are ignored, and languish in the ether of the Internet.
Sometimes, those strong feelings are anticipation and expectation — what if they make a difference, the difference I infused them with as they poured from me, my heart, my mind, my soul, onto the page? What if they find one person — even one — who needs to read them? What if they stir up hope and remind others they are uniquely and beautifully designed for good works in this world?
No matter. When I hit send, when they leave my private space, they are no longer mine. I know this. Even so, I experience that same sense of uncertainty every time. The risk is great, but I take it each time I show up. I show up and bare my true self, that ragged, broken, even…
