Don’t Lose Heart
There’s something that happens when I speak an idea — a dream — out loud, whether it’s to myself, a friend, my spouse, or to God; even if I write it down. It suddenly sounds ridiculous. Not just impossible, but downright silly, absurd, yes, ridiculous.
Why is that, I wonder.
Why is it that an idea, whether for a new story, a new parent group at my girls’ school, or a potential side income hustle, loses its sparkle and appeal when it is set loose from my heart? Shouldn’t it be the opposite? Shouldn’t the sharing of the idea breathe an excitement into it? Into me?
Instead, it causes me to mumble, You know what? Never mind…
Now some would say that’s fear talking, and maybe he’s in the mix, but fear isn’t the loudest voice.
Others might say it’s my inner critic, and, again, she’s probably in the mix, but her voice isn’t the loudest either.
I’d say it’s the consistent voices of doubt and skepticism of family or friends, but honestly, although they are in the mix, they are not the loudest voice.
The loudest voice? It’s mine.
Whether my voice is an echo of the naysayers I’ve known or the doubts others have expressed in response to my dreams or simply the result of having never followed through and created the thing my mind believed possible, I can’t say.
But almost as soon as I speak a dream, it begins to dissipate like fog on an early fall morning, thinning until it is gone.
The confidence I experience when an idea forms in my heart and my mind begins to play with gives me a deep sense of purpose, excitement, and anticipation. Often, I have a vision of the idea as it crystalizes into a detailed finished project.
Until I speak it aloud or write it down.
Once it leaves the confines of my inner sanctuary, it becomes incredibly fragile and the vision I had blurs. My confidence begins to leak out of me like a balloon with a pinhole; slow and steady until I am deflated.
It happened earlier today when I texted my husband saying we should work on a project we’ve tossed around for years now, mostly as a funny, silly idea. Before that text, I had a strong sense of confidence, thinking how fun it would be to work on for not other reason except for the sheer joy of it.
Within moments, I was in full-on retreat from the idea.
With all we have going on, there’s no time to work on something for the sheer joy it brings…
…or maybe that’s exactly why we should work on it. With all the stress and challenges we face lately, joy is incredibly alluring. Empowering, even.
Creativity creates in me a kind of joy little else can. And honestly, my soul has been starving for that particular joy for too long. It’s one of the reasons I decided I would write and post something every day starting July 1. I committed to myself and no one else that I would sit with my creativity and with God each day and feed my heart and my soul with joy and possibility.
In the few days I’ve followed through, I sense the difference in me. I’m feeling and seeing the world differently. I’m thinking differently. I’m thinking in stories and colors and songs and joy and ideas.
I’m getting my voice back.
Not the loudest voice that retreats and says that’s not going to work and you can’t do that. I’m rediscovering the voice of my heart. The one that communes regularly with God and discovers hope and possibility in the creativity God gifted me.
He gifted it to you, too, by the way.
If you’ve been feeling burned out or overwhelmed or stressed, take a few minutes and let yourself tap into the ideas inside you. You know they’re there. You can feel them. I promise you, if you give those ideas a little of your time and attention, they will speak long-lost truths and hope to your heart.
Don’t lose heart, friends. You were created to create. You were created for such a time as this. What will you create today that ignites your heart and the hearts of those around you with joy?
