Between Fear and Faith, Choose Faith
In the early mornings, my dreams, the vision I have for my life, are not only clear to me, but they seem absolutely attainable. I can see them taking root in my life like a spring garden slowly coming to life after a long, dormant winter.
But even as I sit here with them in the quiet, my mind begins to stir into its daytime mode, abandoning thoughts of my dreams for the day ahead.
And that’s when it begins. Fear’s tendrils unfurl and doubt digs deeper into the fertile soil like choking weeds, seeking to overtake the sense of peace and anticipation those dreams and that vision provide.
One look at the cluttered messiness around me and my mind busies itself with list-making, cataloging chores, preparing for the virtual school day, and planning the day’s meals and activities. Soon, I’ve traded my dreams for the have-tos and my peace for doubt.
Doubt tells me dreams are nice, but they’re not my reality. Doubt says my reality is ordinary, mundane, and filled with too much else, leaving little room for dreams, plans, life visions of something more. Doubt points out that I’m too old, I don’t have time, I should have followed my dreams years ago.
And maybe some of that is true. But right now, none of that applies.
Because before I leave this sacred space where I sit with God talking about dreams and desires and what He created and called me to do, I linger a bit longer. I push back the lists forming in my head, and I turn away from the chores and the clutter. I silence my doubts by putting God between me and the day and my excuses.
Right now, I choose to put God between me and my fears and surrender my dreams and desires to Him and not to doubt.
In these moments, I choose to anchor my mind and my soul to Him, because I know between this moment and the day’s end, the day will pull me in too many directions, most of them away from the clarity of this moment with my dreams and the desires of my heart. And that busyness creates space for doubt and fears to loom larger than they should.
So today, I refuse to be pulled so far away from this moment I miss the things God is calling me to do and who He is calling me to be. I know He wants more for me than I could ask or imagine, and that’s why in this moment, I will let my faith keep my fears at bay.
Right now, faith is that place between what is and what will be. Faith is whispering to me to trust and to let God guide me through my day and the wilderness of my heart, providing me His peace in the midst of my chaos and clutter. Faith is whispering to me the truth that I was made for such a day as this and if I but seek the sacred, I will find miracles in the moments ahead.
And so right now, I promise myself to step out with faith, and to look for the beauty, the divine, the extraordinary that awaits me.
This post is part of a series of short freewriting prompts based on a single word. With the word in mind, I tune into a writing playlist, typically choose two songs (today was three), and write without editing or stopping until the two songs are finished because showing up is just as important as the words that end up on the page.
Today’s word — between.